Philosophy of Love

According to the Quality Theory, reasons to love are properties of the beloved. By contrast, according to the Relationship Theory, love is justified by features of a relationship with the beloved. Insofar as people’s lovable properties change all the time, the Quality Theory seems to offer an implausibly fickle account of love’s reasons. This paper defends the Quality Theory. First, I argue the fittingness of love is not as resilient as Relationship Theory implies. Second, I show how the Quality Theorist (...) can say it is fitting to continue loving someone despite radical changes to their properties. (shrink)

This chapter sketches an account of what is distinctive about reciprocated love between persons. Shared love, it is suggested, involves holding in a productive interplay two components that stand in an uneasy tension with each other. First, love involves a recognition of the distinctive value possessed by the other as the particular subjectivity that she is. This aspect of love is unidirectional, running from lover to beloved, and it is compatible with the love’s being unrequited. Reciprocated love, however, is not (...) merely a matter of this unidirectional state now running in both directions at once, for in addition to this there is also a second structure in play. As well as each taking the other’s personhood as the object of their loving gaze, the lovers also come together as subjects, turning a shared gaze toward the world in partnership. It is the difficulty involved in balancing these two aspects of love that gives rise to love’s characteristic forms of struggle and failure. (shrink)

According to the Quality Account of love, only lovable properties of the beloved person, such as beauty, wisdom and kindness, can make love for that person fitting. The account has been criticized for leading to implausible conclusions. If this account is correct, it would seem fitting to replace one’s lover with someone who possesses the same or more lovable properties, or stop loving someone who has lost these properties. Moreover, it is unclear how the Quality Account can differentiate between the (...) fittingness conditions of love and other similar attitudes which seem also fitting in virtue of the same properties. I propose a new response to these objections. I argue that these challenges can be met by appealing to a distinctive lovable property that all objects of love share: their uniqueness. Uniqueness, along with other lovable properties, determines how worthy of love a person is. (shrink)

Love cannot be everlasting, much as we might desire it to be so. So, what is love in a life that begins and ends? How does it feel to love as a finite being, imperfectly as we may? In Western philosophy and religious thought, love has often been characterized as a source of constancy and commitment. Love in Time reveals the opposite to be true. From the ways our beloveds (and their qualities that endear them to us) change over time, (...) to the possibility of our feelings toward our beloveds-or their feelings toward us-changing, love, Bialek shows, is an endeavor fraught with uncertainty. Yet it is that very uncertainty that entices us to our beloveds. Love is not a refuge from the vagaries of worldly life, impervious to its changing conditions. Rather, it is an orientation to a future that we do not yet know. In this book, Fannie Bialek explores the temporal experience of lovers spending time with their beloveds. Love in time, like any temporal experience, is composed of moments of not knowing what will happen next. It is an experience of vulnerability in this way, the lover exposed to an unknown future and waiting to see how it plays out. Attending to these vulnerabilities, Love in Time develops a fresh ethics of love that centers uncertainty and humility. It is an ethics of love that speaks to the uncertainty of the present and beyond. (shrink)

This edited volume offers a comprehensive view of various possible phenomenological approaches of the experience of love, ranging from classical historical perspectives up to contemporary and critical viewpoints. It explores both the crucial importance of the question of love for the history of phenomenology as well as the rich potential of phenomenology for a deeper insight in the experience of love and its various dimensions, such as its affective, relational, but also ethical and religious aspects.

In this paper, I challenge standard views of the moral badness of sentimentality defended by art critics and philosophers. Accounts based on untruthfulness and self-indulgence lack the resources to both explain the badness of bad sentimentality and to allow that there are benign instances. We are sometimes permitted to be sentimental even though it is self-serving. A non-moralistic account should allow for this. To provide such an account, I first outline a substantive view of the ideal of unsentimentality by turning (...) to Rainer Maria Rilke’s Letters on Cézanne. Rilke celebrates the artist for his unsentimental love of his subjects and “untiring objective wakefulness” to them. I then turn to Iris Murdoch’s ethics of attention (itself influenced by Rilke) to explain why this ideal is so difficult to live up to in practice, the various ways that we fall short, and what our failures mean. What Murdoch contributes is both a sense that the lovingly attentive attitude that Rilke describes is morally—and not just artistically—important and a compassionate account of the human egocentrism that inhibits it. By thinking of sentimentality as a failure of moral attention, we can appreciate how particular instances differ from one another. Sentimentality can console us in difficult times or can gratify our egos; it can be a form of escapism or can rigidly enclose reality; and it can be harmlessly self-serving or a selfish failure to morally attend to the other when it counts. I conclude by outlining some ways that being seen with Cézanne-like moral attention can matter to us. (shrink)

Defenders of two Rationality Views of love—the Qualities View and the Personhood View—have drawn on Iris Murdoch's philosophical writings to highlight a connection between love and a “realistic” perspective on the beloved. Murdoch does not inform the basic structure of these views—she is rather introduced as a supplement who shows that in love, we pay accurate, nuanced, unguarded, and unflinching attention to the other. In this paper, I contend that these authors have failed to see that Murdoch offers a distinct (...) view of love and is inappropriate to enlist as an ally. This is in large part because they have missed the full sense of what Murdoch means by connecting love and realism. I contend that for Murdoch, to love someone means seeing them in light of a realistic vision of what it means to be human; this includes an appreciation of the limits of freedom, the formative influence of personal history, and the nature and extent of our differences from one another. This helps us to see why Murdoch variously describes loving attention as realistic, compassionate, tolerant, and extremely difficult. It also sheds light on some important and familiar ways that we criticize one another's grounds for love. (shrink)

Kant is frequently read as saying that all self-love is bad, and the virtuous agent is one who suppresses self-love as much as possible. This paper argues that this is mistaken and that the right kind of self-love – what Kant calls rational self-love – plays an important role in a successful moral life. It shows how Kant provides a detailed taxonomy of different kinds of self-love. He contrasts the (practical) incentive of self-love with the (pathological) feeling of it, self-love (...) of benevolence with self-love of delight, and self-absorbed/selfish with rational/moral varieties of each. The paper then argues that, while the Critique of Practical Reason only identifies a self-absorbed variety of self-love of delight, self-conceit, it gains a rational counterpart in Religion within the Bounds of Mere Reason: “self-contentment”. This is a positive self-love of delight uniquely felt by the morally good person. It is suggested that this shift reflects Kant’s increasing appreciation of the affective dimension of the virtuous life: for imperfect human beings the moral law must not only be worth obeying, but worth loving. Thus, while for morally bad agents self-love and morality inevitably conflict, good agents can and should love themselves. (shrink)

Although doubt (Tvivl) and despair (Fortvivlelse) are widely recognized as two central and closely associated concepts in Kierkegaard’s authorship, their precise relationship remains opaque in the extant interpretive literature. To shed light on their relationship, this paper develops a novel interpretation of Kierkegaard’s understanding of the connection between despair and our agency over our beliefs, and its significance for Kierkegaard’s ethics of belief. First, I show that an important yet largely overlooked form of Kierkegaardian despair involves either failing to take (...) ethico-religious responsibility for one’s practical agency over one’s beliefs, or misusing one’s practical agency over one’s beliefs by refusing to recognize or comply with externally given ethico-religious norms governing belief. Second, I argue that Kierkegaard takes properly exercising one’s agency over one’s beliefs to matter because beliefs are partly constitutive of the theological virtues (faith, hope, and love) that Kierkegaard regards as the cure for despair. (shrink)

It seems like a problem to say that love can be merited—its value is located in its transcendence of comparative judgments. However, we commonly make judgments about who is and is not worth loving. We deem certain romantic partners, friends, and family members as worth or not worth our loving time, attention, and effort. In this paper, I argue that love can be merited, and it is merited because of a person’s intrinsic valuable qualities. However, it is not the fact (...) that such qualities can be compared that is relevant. What is relevant is the fact that such qualities are gradable, and what it means for someone to merit love is that their qualities meet a threshold or standard of value for love. Moreover, love requires some amount of practical wisdom in discerning these thresholds and when someone meets or fails to meet them. This is important to recognize since we are creatures of finite love. We do not have the capacity to love everyone who is both worthy and unworthy of love. Given our finite capacities, I argue that making wise and discerning judgments about whom to love should be kept in mind when philosophizing about love. (shrink)

How is love different from lust or infatuation? Do love and marriage really go together "like a horse and carriage"? Does sex have any necessary connection to either? And how important are love, sex, and marriage to a well-lived life? In the Second Edition of this lively, lucid, and comprehensive book, Raja Halwani explores and elucidates the nature, uses, and ethics of romantic love, sexuality, and marriage. It is structured in three parts: Love examines the nature of romantic love and (...) how it differs from other types of love, such as friendship and parental love. It also investigates the relationship of love to morality and asks what limits morality puts on romantic love and even whether romantic love is inherently moral. Sex demonstrates the difficulty in defining sex and the sexual, and examines what constitutes good and bad sex in terms of pleasure, "naturalness," and moral permissibility. It discusses the nature of sexual desire and its connection to objectification and virtue, all the while looking at specific sexual engagements such as pornography, BDSM, and raced desires. Marriage traces the history of the institution and describes the various forms in which marriage exists and the reasons why people marry. It also investigates the necessity of marriage and ways in which it requires reform. Updates and Revisions in the Second Edition Expands the coverage of love and morality from one to two chapters, incorporating much of the recent literature on love as a moral emotion. Includes a new chapter on sex and virtue ethics. Ends each of the chapters on sex with an "applied" topic, such as pornography, BDSM, prostitution, racial sexual desires, and adultery. Increases coverage of the nature and purpose of marriage, including debates surrounding same-sex marriage, but also moving beyond these debates to include issues on minimal marriage, temporary marriage, polygamy, and other forms of marriage. Updates the Further Reading and Study Questions sections at the end of each chapter and provides an up-to-date comprehensive bibliography at the back of the book. Includes new discussions of topics on the nature of love; love and reasons; distinctions between two types of romantic love; love and its connections to moral theories; definitions of crucial sexual concepts; objectification; virtue and sex; racial sexual desires; and the definition of marriage and whether it is important as an institution. (shrink)

Love involves an apparent contradiction in agency. On the one hand, we often talk of people being “struck” by love or subject to love’s “grip,” as though love is the imposition of an alien force. O...

Internal coherence is of great importance for how we think about appreciating objects of aesthetic worth. A disagreement between what we judge to be worthy and what we affectively favor can prevent us from properly grasping its value. However, it is also assumed in the aesthetic domain that our taste changes over time, jeopardising such coherence constraint. These changes can lead to a mismatch between new aesthetic judgments and old aesthetic preferences. This chapter explores a number of issues that emerge (...) from this tension. Using Taylor Swift’s re-recording as a case study, I will explore the relation between fan loyalty and personal authenticity, as well as the role of biographical taste in the reception of these newly recorded albums among Swift’s long-time fanbase. (shrink)

Friendship is a notion that runs through the thought of different ancient philosophers and has the peculiar characteristic of being held in high esteem almost unanimously by all. Although there are earlier precedents, for Socrates friendship takes on great importance and his disciple Plato provides deep reflections on the subject, linking friendship with transcendence. However, the pages of Aristotle's 'Nicomachean Ethics' on this subject are undoubtedly the most influential for posterity. For him, friendship has many variants, although he privileges over (...) all of them friendship between equals and founded on ethical character. Only complete moral integrity guarantees that the love between friends consists of a genuine appreciation for the person of the other and not for something different from it. After Aristotle, Cicero's treatise 'Lellius' or 'On Friendship' stands out. Despite taking up several appreciations of Aristotle, Cicero is original and corrects some of his ideas, giving priority to the strength of mutual love over the preconditions of friends. Moreover, he gives a prominent place to trust ('fides') in their relationship. Finally, Seneca frames friendship within his ethical conception, subordinating love for the friend to the moral development of the philosopher. (shrink)

Marriage is an institution known for both its virtues and challenges. This study examines marriage not merely as a sociological or theological construct but as a lens to explore the profound philosophical problems of intersubjectivity and interpersonality. By examining both the relational and sacramental dimensions of marriage, we gain insights into how two distinct individuals can form a deep, enduring bond that transcends individual isolation, thus offering a model for understanding both intersubjectivity and interpersonality. The unique perspective offered by Christian (...) theology, which regards marriage as a sacrament, entails a fundamental and irreversible transformation in the individuals involved. This provides a unique venue to address intersubjectivity and interpersonality using unconventional sources and analysis. The objective is not to advocate for Catholic doctrine or any specific religious perspective but to deploy the sacramental understanding of matrimony and its conceptual framework to address these intertwined philosophical issues. (shrink)

A collection of essays exploring the nature and experience of love, its contradictions and limits, and its material and ideal forms. Drawing from leading contemporary Continental philosophers, contributors focus on love as it relates to such phenomena as trust, abuse, grief, death, hatred, politics, and desire"--Provided by publisher.

This volume chronicles the philosophical evolution of the concept of love, with each chapter providing an introduction to a discrete turning point in this evolutionary history. But it also aims to tell an interconnected story about the larger arc of this evolution, one focused on how the concepts of love bequeathed to us by ancient philosophical and religious traditions were transformed by later philosophers who operated under different conceptions of love's meaning and horizons. Specifically, where the traditional concepts of love (...) tended to focus on love's relationship to the transcendent, more modern concepts of love have tended to focus on its relationship to the immanent. To this end, the volume is organized into three sections. The chapters of the first group examine ancient philosophical and religious ways of thinking about love, including those found in Judaic, Christian, Greek and Islamic religious and philosophical traditions. The second group examines the ways in which thinkers from the medieval period through the late enlightenment conceived of love. The final group examines the history of the concept of love from the beginning of the revolution inaugurated by romanticism through the mid-twentieth century, calling particular attention to the ways in which the concept of love came to be more explicitly and exclusively associated with sexual desire, and ever more distanced from certain more expansive traditional concepts. (shrink)

Love has been a frightening yet exciting problem for individuals and communities since ancient times. What is love? Does it give us purpose, orientation, and meaning, or is it scary, dangerous, to be avoided? Love Troubles: A Social Philosophy of Eros is an exploration of erotic love through the lens of critical social philosophy, drawing on a wide range of philosophical texts as well as narratives gathered from poetry and novels, films, and music. The place and value of love are (...) perhaps more deeply contested now than at other times in the recent past. Feminists criticize its association with male dominance and violence, while all too often economic considerations take precedence in mating rituals, yet we are increasingly lonely, no longer even looking for partners. But the central hypothesis that motivates Love Troubles is that all these troubles are good news. They invite us to reflect upon eros, considered as both passionate sexual love and as intense friendship, as a slippery, liminal form of love, situated at the threshold between intimate and private and public and political. It is a surprising and effective critical tool that has received little attention from social philosophers and at the same time a resource for political agency, resistance, and transformation--for freedom. As Audre Lorde has argued so convincingly, we realize freedom collectively, moved by the affects and emotions that our lovers and friends inspire in us. (shrink)

After highlighting Søren Kierkegaard's emphasis on the absolute difference between God and humans, this article presents his explanation of why we can readily embrace our inferior position to God, which appeals to his understanding of love as involving the desire to be the guilty party. But this argument can be turned around to make a case that God would desire to be the guilty party in relation to us. This fits well with the story of God's love in Kierkegaard's pseudonymous (...) writing Philosophical Fragments, in which divine incarnation is interpreted as God's descent in history to establish equality with humans. After arguing that such a kenotic Christology is not incompatible with the absolute God-human difference because it accentuates the fact that only God can cross the divide, the author points out its similarity with Marilyn Adams’ view that God became the curse in Jesus to cancel out the power of the curse of sin. He finishes by dealing with the worry that, despite divine descent, some humans may be unable to stand boldly confident before God because of their memory of what their sinfulness has caused. One way to alleviate this worry is to adopt the Irenaean affirmation of God's ultimate responsibility, and the author claims that this would complete Kierkegaard's Philosophical Fragments by adding an interpretation of the crucifixion in line with its story of divine descent. (shrink)

I make a case for the hope that God is the supremely guilty person whose death on the cross represents God's apology to us in history. I motivate this hope by examining Kant's quest to find satisfaction in humans' moral life. After explaining why moral satisfaction is so significant in his practical philosophy, I point out that the human moral vocation in his second Critique boils down to endless progress toward the highest good, governed by God as the moral ruler. (...) However, he shifts away from this account due to the worry that it offers no prospect of moral satisfaction. But this shift, which involves lowering the bar of morality, does not eliminate moral discontent, so the question of how to prevent it from abating our interest in morality remains. With this question in mind, I turn to Kierkegaard's critique of Kant's later shift as the way to secure moral satisfaction. Kierkegaard instead underscores the absolute God-human difference so that we can be content with accepting always standing guilty before God, but his argument for embracing this position can be turned around to suggest that a boundlessly loving God would desire to be the guilty party in relation to us. I explore this direction by adapting his kenotic Christology in writings under the pseudonym Johannes Climacus into the distinctive form of Kantian moral theology. This exploration, which is based on the Irenaean affirmation of divine omni-responsibility as explained by John Hick, can lead some theists to find consolation for their moral discontent in God who has descended to the moral low ground. If there was a God-human in history who manifested this descent by an apology on the cross, this person can be interpreted as offering universal salvation here and now, even to the faithless. (shrink)

A deeply personal reckoning with family, mental illness, and suicide, Dana Trusso captures the meaning of Nietzsche's armor fati--to love one's fate--through her surreal imagery and longing to heal intergenerational wounds. Lines are drawn from Lars von Trier's Melancholia, Sonic Youth's Experimental Jet Set, Trash and No Star, and lines she read from her aunt's journals as a child. -/- The photo is a sculpture of an earth goddess by Jean-Philippe Richard located in the botanical gardens of Èze, France. Nearby (...) is Le Chemin de Nietzsche, a steep hike from the seaside to mountainous ruins that is said to have inspired Thus Spoke Zarathustra. (shrink)

This article offers an account of Kant's conception of the duty of self-love, a rarely researched subject, by investigating how he appropriated Alexander Gottlieb Baumgarten's prior conception. I argue that exploring this appropriation helps us to gain new insights into Kant's conception of duty, a leading thread in Kant's ethics. Substantiating this argument, I derive the following conclusions. First, Kant peculiarly affirms a duty to rational self-love of delight. To be more precise, human beings ought rationally to love themselves in (...) such a way that they are content with—or have a positive feeling about—themselves in acting on maxims that they are pleased to see submitted to the moral law. Further, rational self-love of delight results from declining pathological forms of self-love. Second, Kant retains, to a meaningful extent, Baumgarten's conception of the duty to self-love where feeling and rationality achieve their distinct elevation. (shrink)

Love and Friendship in the Western Tradition comprises a collection of essays written over a 25 year period by the late Rev. Professor James McEvoy on the theme of friendship. The book traces the genesis and development of philosophical treatments of friendship from Greek philosophy, through the Middle Ages, to modern and postmodern philosophy. The collection's three major concerns are: (1) the history of philosophical discussions of friendship; (2) the role of friendship in the cultivation of the philosophical life; (3) (...) the marginalization of friendship as a theme for philosophical reflection and practice in the modern period. As the author was primarily a medievalist, a great deal of the focus of the essays is on the development of the theme of friendship in the Middle Ages (in the thought of Augustine, Aquinas, Aelred of Rievaulx, Henry of Ghent, Robert Grosseteste, etc.). However, this focus, while a value in itself, also serves to connect philosophical perspectives on friendship from before and after the middle ages. It connects to the time before inasmuch as much of the work done on friendship in the Middle Ages is anchored in interpretations of Aristotle and Plato, and it connects to the time after by providing a counterpoint to the modern paradigm of what constitutes the philosophical life. The collection combines historical with thematic approaches to scholarship on this issue and is one of the only books of its kind to do so. It is, perhaps, unique in its historical sweep and will prove to be a canonical source for further research on this topic. (shrink)

Lovers often disagree. We may reject the specific goals our loved ones pursue or the broad values they hold. Some philosophers suggest that such evaluative conflict makes romantic love in its ideal form deficient. I argue that this is mistaken. On the contrary, our ideal of love holds that we can love people for ‘who they are’ (as we say), even as we profoundly disagree with them. My argument draws on intuitive cases from screwball comedy about love amid conflict, love (...) across political party lines, as well as ‘forbidden’ love across religions and cultures. At a deeper level, I sketch an ideal of love I call intimate independence and argue that this ideal is (i) fully compatible with any evaluative conflict, (ii) embedded in our ordinary attitudes towards mature love between equals, and (iii) an ideal worth achieving. As long as intimate independence is a compelling ideal, deep conflict will not seem like an obstacle to true love. The ideal reminds us that love can bring together people with radically different points of view, and that to insist on shared ends or values is thus to miss a part of the meaning and power of love. (shrink)

The Oxford Handbook of Philosophy of Love offers a wide array of original essays on the nature and value of love. The editors, Christopher Grau and Aaron Smuts, have assembled an esteemed group of thinkers, including both established scholars and younger voices. The volume contains thirty-three essays addressing both issues about love as well as key philosophers who have contributed to the philosophy of love, such as Plato, Kierkegaard, Schopenhauer, and Murdoch. The topics range from central issues about the nature (...) and variety of love, the possibility of its rational justification, and whether it is an emotion, to the significance of love for law, economics, morality, and free will. The volume also contains an introduction to the subject as well as essays on love’s relation to jealousy, biotechnology, religion, knowledge, and several other topics. This wide-ranging handbook will be a key resource for specialists working on the philosophy of love, and a helpful guide for those looking to learn more about the area. (shrink)