In this article we wish to discuss different normative dilemmas that teachers and psychotherapists meet in their work with the student and the patient. We argue that crucial for a good practice is not the actual choice between normativity and freedom, between generalized or authorized standards and individual dialogue. Rather it is the professional’s continuous reflection on the form and quality of the interactions with the pupil and the patient, and the preservation of the balance between personal ethos and professional (...) responsibilities that best safeguard respect for the other's autonomy and self-determination. By illustrating psychotherapeutic malpractice and systematic mistreatment of children in the name of education, we wish to remind the reader that official governmental authorization of the professions pedagogy and psychology / psychotherapy is not automatically a guarantee for high professional standards or for the best possible teaching and psychotherapy. (shrink)