Abstract

© Mind AssociationThis article is published and distributed under the terms of the Oxford University Press, Standard Journals Publication Model...Suppose I told you that the person you consider your best friend often dwells on your faults in his own mind; while he behaves in a warm and affectionate manner when the two of you are together, privately, he ruminates on his advantages over you. He likes to compare himself to you because he finds the comparisons flattering. He does not see you as his equal and the thought that he is better pleases him.This is a chilling thought. But why is it chilling? Part of the reason has to do with the connection between inner states and actions. Perhaps you think that your friend will, sooner or later, do something contrary to the spirit of friendship. Secret feelings and desires may surface and shape...