Loving People for Who They Are (Even When They Don't Love You Back)

European Journal of Philosophy 24 (1):214-234 (2016)
Abstract
The debate on love's reasons ignores unrequited love, which—I argue—can be as genuine and as valuable as reciprocated love. I start by showing that the relationship view of love cannot account for either the reasons or the value of unrequited love. I then present the simple property view, an alternative to the relationship view that is beset with its own problems. In order to solve these problems, I present a more sophisticated version of the property view that integrates ideas from different property theorists in the love literature. However, even this more sophisticated property view falls short in accounting for unrequited love's reasons. In response, I develop a new version of the property view that I call the experiential view. On this view, we love a person not only in virtue of properties shaped by and experienced in a reciprocal loving relationship, but also in virtue of perspectival properties, whose value can be properly assessed also outside of a reciprocal loving relationship. The experiential view is the only view that can account not only for reciprocated love's reasons, but also for unrequited love's reasons.
Keywords romantic love  unrequited love  relationships  Niko Kolodny  non-ideal value
Categories (categorize this paper)
DOI 10.1111/ejop.12077
Options
 Save to my reading list
Follow the author(s)
My bibliography
Export citation
Find it on Scholar
Edit this record
Mark as duplicate
Revision history
Request removal from index
Download options
Our Archive
External links

Setup an account with your affiliations in order to access resources via your University's proxy server
Configure custom proxy (use this if your affiliation does not provide a proxy)
Through your library
References found in this work BETA
Love as Valuing a Relationship.Niko Kolodny - 2003 - Philosophical Review 112 (2):135-189.
The Moralistic Fallacy: On the ”Appropriateness' of Emotions.Justin D'Arms & Daniel Jacobson - 2000 - Philosophy and Phenomenological Research 61 (1):65--90.
Romantic Love and Loving Commitment: Articulating a Modern Ideal.Neil Delaney - 1996 - American Philosophical Quarterly 33 (4):339 - 356.
VIII. The Significance of Recalcitrant Emotion.Justin D'Arms & Daniel Jacobson - 2003 - Royal Institute of Philosophy Supplement 52:127-145.

View all 12 references / Add more references

Citations of this work BETA

No citations found.

Add more citations

Similar books and articles
What is the Point of Love?Carolyn Price - 2012 - International Journal of Philosophical Studies 20 (2):217-237.
Love: Gloriously Amoral and Arational.Nick Zangwill - 2013 - Philosophical Explorations 16 (3):298 - 314.
Is It Better to Love Better Things?Aaron Smuts - 2015 - In Tony Milligan, Christian Maurer & Kamila Pacovská (eds.), Love and Its Objects.
Normative Reasons for Love, Part II.Aaron Smuts - 2014 - Philosophy Compass 9 (8):518-526.
Normative Reasons for Love, Part I.Aaron Smuts - 2014 - Philosophy Compass 9 (8):507-517.
The Duplication of Love's Reasons.Tony Milligan - 2013 - Philosophical Explorations 16 (3):315 - 323.
Self Love.Stephen David Ross - 2010 - International Studies in Philosophy Monograph Series:129-152.
Love: A History.Simon May - 2011 - Yale University Press.
Romantic Love and Loving Commitment: Articulating a Modern Ideal.Neil Delaney - 1996 - American Philosophical Quarterly 33 (4):339 - 356.
Love: A Secret History.Simon May - 2011 - Yale University Press.

Monthly downloads

Added to index

2014-01-22

Total downloads

1,664 ( #199 of 2,146,491 )

Recent downloads (6 months)

328 ( #200 of 2,146,491 )

How can I increase my downloads?

My notes
Sign in to use this feature


Discussion
Order:
There  are no threads in this forum
Nothing in this forum yet.

Other forums