Abstract

On the basis of Buber’s distinction between “I-It” and “I-Thou” relationships, this paper explores the role of sex in intimate relationships by analyzing research in the fields of psychoanalysis and attachment theory. In the “I-Thou” relationship mode, both parties are often able to fully participate in the current sexual behavior and respond wholeheartedly. When there is incoordination in sexual activities, they can negotiate sincerely, and can even repair the relationship if it breaks down. In the “I-It” relationship mode, sex exists more as a tool to achieve a certain purpose, and the intersubjective relatedness is abnormal: either the boundary will be blurred and others become my vassal or I become others’ vassal ; or the relatedness will be cut off, leading to loneliness or false independence.